|Occupation||DP Wiki Admin|
|Status||Shitposting in the wiki chat|
Eggs Rank (also known as Aids Dank) is an admin on the Drunken Peasants Wiki and former member of Serious Experiment Rain, who's most well known attributes are being annoying, stupid, and unfunny.“
I think it might be both. Ive [sic] never met anyone else like you.— Eggs admitting his love for Lain.
Eggs is most well known inside Serious Experiment Rain for having a literal crush on Lain. Despite Lain disliking Eggs quite a bit, and Eggs never even seeing what she looked like in real life, he fell for her and tried to date her. Eggs for some reason thought that Lain viewed him as a friend as he would always go to her to complain about Stevo—someone who is actually her friend—and he would also try talking to her about his life in general sometimes. Eggs's biggest attempt at winning Lain's love over was to buy her all the expansions to Crusader Kings II on Steam for 159 dollars. This never came to fruition as Lain eventually bought them all herself, which made Eggs visibly upset. Another way Eggs tried to win her love over was offering her dick pics once he turned 18, which of course Lain didn't want. Eggs eventually became fed up with her very apparent disinterest in him, bringing him to the point of bribing people like Alex Noble and Stevo for pictures of her face, which he offered real life money for. He eventually received a fake to shut him up because he kept asking despite bring told no numerous times. Lain has admitted that Eggs is incredibly annoying and that she doesn't like or trust him, although because of his admitted crush for her, she played him along and gained his trust as a way to mess with him and receive comedic messages and other information.
Eggs eventually realized that getting a date with Lain was useless and would never happen, and his once held crush diminished afterwards. Instead of admitting he was dumb for thinking that, however, he instead pinned it on Lain saying that she was just unpleasant, meanspirited, a cancerous memer, and "from what he's heard", ugly. All this was an attempt to make him feel better inside and look less cringy, taking the blame off himself for failing to have a relationship with a girl he met online. He also tried getting people to believe she was a male to female trans person, although he was the only person to get tricked into actually believing this somehow for a short period of time.
Eggs is notorious for his attempts to be funny, often repeating the same few jokes over and over again, like replacing Lovisa with Lo3sa, calling everybody a neocon, saying nigger, and of course his most well known joke which he repeats over and over to people who don't even get the reference: MundaneMatt's Three Buck Theater. Every single attempt at humor made by Eggs falls flat on its face, and even his fellow DP Wiki staff members admit he is unfunny.
Due to Eggs being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, it is to be well assumed that he displays a high amount of obnoxious behavior due to his social ineptitude. This rings true especially in voice calls where Eggs often goes on long rants; literally screaming like a madman, almost entirely inaudible. Surprisingly, his parents do nothing about this except for when Eggs says something bad about Hillary Clinton, to which one of his parents (usually his mom) come into his room and forcibly take his microphone away for about a day. Other displays of Eggs having a lack of social skills were made obvious once he and SwordofStorms had a 3 hour long rant back and forth to each other inside the DP Wiki Discord server about "normies" in school. It was basically just the two of them complaining back and forth about how special they are compared to the rest of their classmates because they like the Drunken Peasants, atheism, and PC gaming, and how they weren't popular. Lain and Stevo tried having a debate with them, although they just kicked Stevo and cried to Lain that she didn't understand them.
Stevo and Eggs in particular have an immense disliking towards each other. Whenever the too communicated with each other back when Stevo was DP Wiki staff, one has almost always erupted into argument with the other, with Eggs usually just making fun of Stevo for liking Batman v Superman, for being a vegetarian, for defending John Lennon, or for the Lovisa situation. Stevo usually just makes fun of Eggs for being Jewish, which always shuts him down and brings him into a long winded rant about how Stevo can't say anything original.
Eggs was apart of Serious Experiment Rain for about two week in early November of 2016, but left once he realized Lain would never date him. Besides all the aforementioned things which he did to make an ass out of himself, he would also debate Serephenne on many occasions, usually for political reason. Serephenne always won these debates easily, although Eggs has never admitted it. After Eggs left, he started to periodically join and leave again to check if Lain and Stevo were plotting against the DP Wiki, of course only embarrassing himself by going on giant rants in chat about the two. It is assumed he'll join again to try and start a fight sometime in the future.